just friends

My last blog entailed an abbreviated version of my sexuality awareness as well as my coming out of sorts. In response to that entry, I had someone ask me to tell the story of how it was I met my partner Tina- clearly the best day of her life for sure! Anyway, so I present you with the "story of us" also known as "Char thinks she has swagger but really doesn't."
I had just finished my first year of teaching and I was working a retail job during the summer months because you all know how wealthy teachers are. A friend of mine at said retail job asked me if I'd like to befriend one of her friends who had just recently came out. I of course had no qualms about helping someone out- no pun intended- and I was assured that it wasn't a set-up, just you know show her where all the gay places are kind of thing. My friend then proceeded to show me a picture of said gay newbie and after I put my tongue back in my head, I was dialing up her digits to arrange dinner plans. Initially Tina was somewhat hesitant, and I'm sure now there are days that she had wished she had stayed steadfast in that shyness. However, because I am totally smooth I told her that "you gotta eat" - yes those were my exact suave words to her to convince her to have dinner with me. So we made the time/place arrangements and I was to be on the lookout for one leggy feminine brunette in a grey van. I wasn't going to judge, cougars were in. Truth was her car was in the shop.
As I scan the parking lot prior to going into the restaurant I see a dilapidated grey serial killer van pull in. The woman that proceeds to get out of the sketchy vehicle has a buzzed head, sleeveless NASCAR t-shirt, homemade cut-off jean shorts, and a long cigarette hanging from her mouth. First off, if you smoke that's your business, I just personally do not prefer to lick an ashtray if there's a possibility that I'm going to kiss you. Secondly, this woman scared the hell out of me not solely due to her fashion choices, but she looked like she could kick my ass. I swear there was a chain gang missing a member. I will admit that I was a much more shallow person back then and I had half a mind to high tail it out of there. But then I thought how callous of me for even thinking that I should judge this book by it's cover. Clearly if this was indeed Tina, if she had somehow went beyond butch since that photo of her had been taken, then that was ok. It's hard enough to be gay as it is without being judged for your outward appearance as well. So as I was entering the vestibule of the restaurant, another grey van was pulling into the parking lot. I have no idea who that other woman was, but it was clearly not Tina. Nope, my dining companion for the next three hours was indeed all legs, long brown hair, and riveting blue eyes that clearly told me that my own eyes should be brown. Yeap, she saw right fast that I was a complete dork with nerdy glasses that talked too much. Since we were meeting as friends, there was no pressure although the whole time all I could think about was how she wouldn't taste like an ashtray. Much to my surprise she agreed to continue hanging out with me and eventually while at a concert I got dunk enough to finally kiss her, because what's better than ashtray- beer breath. My philosophy was that if she didn't reciprocate then I could blame it on the booze- I have mad skills! We won't mention how later that evening due to my intoxicated state I fell completely into a water fountain and had to ride home sans clothing with only a blanket. Irregardless that was the night we officially started dating and now 8 years later I still have no idea how I landed such an amazing woman that was just supposed to be a friend.