Same Love

Last night something beautiful happened at the Grammy's and I don't mean Beyonce's outfit. 33 couples both heterosexual and homosexual were married during the performance of Same Love by Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, and Mary Lambert. Madonna stepped in with a few lyrics of Open Your Heart while Queen Latifah officiated. Almost 30 million people watched this display of love orchestrated perfectly against the backdrop of lyrical bliss. And getting Katy Perry to catch your bouquet is well, just pretty damn awesome.
As I sat there watching the event, I was both elated and crushed. The tears that flowed were filled with duplicity- happiness for those who were clearly overjoyed at marrying their soul mates and sadness for all of those who are still fighting for that basic right to marry.
I thought of Edith Windsor and her partner Thea Spyer. They lived together for more than four decades in NY but had to get married in Canada. Thea's impending death could not outlast the move for marriage equality in NY. I thought of Sally Ride and her partner of 27 years, Tam O'Shaughnessy. But once again death won the timetable against marriage equality and thus they never married.
And then I thought of my own love story. My partner of 8 and 1/2 years. Our own wish of marriage. My desire to wear a tux, look down the aisle, and see Tina carrying her bouquet walking towards me. The vows of sacred promises and the symbolic placement of rings. Our friends and family in attendance and me silently hoping that I don't fumble my words or pass out.
But on May 8th, 2012 our state of NC passed  NC Same-Sex Marriage Amendment 1. Same-sex marriage is already illegal in the state of NC but this measure added the ban to the state constitution. I can marry my cousin, but I can't marry Tina because I don't have a penis.
Those who would oppose a marriage between myself and Tina cite religious reasons. I hate to break it to them, but not everyone believes in their God or their religion. I certainly don't. And so I can't comprehend why my life should be dictated by someone else's beliefs?
In the mean time I will continue to live in a loving, committed relationship. And I will continue to be gay. Very gay. Like I mean flaming. Hopefully one day the fight for marriage equality will be over. There will no longer be the need for demonstrations or protests. There will no longer be the debate or argument of how it's ok for me to pay taxes, but not ok for me to receive the same basic rights. Instead there will only be invitations on heavy parchment paper announcing the date when two hearts can be one legally.