not tobacco

The first time I smoked pot I had no idea that's what it was. And yes, I did inhale. I was 20 and in a pub in England with a group of blokes I had just met that day. I had taken full advantage of the younger legal drinking age and so by the time I had made it to this particular pub, well let's just say I wouldn't have been able to recite any part of the alphabet. I was there on holiday for 2 weeks- it was a college graduation present and nothing quite shows off the labors of a good education like getting wasted at pubs all day. Although I did manage to redeem myself in the fact that I hit all of those historical landmarks like Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, and I even went super nerdy and visited the home of the Bronte sisters. But alas, I did have that one night of bar hopping.
So I was sitting there at a table when one of the guys asks me if I'd like to smoke a cigarette outside with him. Personally I had always found the smell of cigarettes to be nauseating and the act of smoking thoroughly disgusting. I'm going to assume that it was the copious amount of alcohol in my system, or maybe it was because he actually asked me if I wanted a fag (always learn the slang of the country that you're visiting because I was so disappointed), but still it's on me because I made the semi-conscious decision to go outside with him. I asked him why we had to go outside to smoke when plenty of other patrons of the bar were inside smoking. He said that it was because this was cannabis. See, I thought that was the name-brand of the cigarette. Hello, I signed up for horticulture in high school because I thought it was a class about different cultures of the world. Science has never been my strong point and after only one day in that class I transferred out of it and into Drama 101. True story. Also in my defense, the guy had taken an actual cigarette and scraped the tobacco out of it and replaced it with the cannabis so I really did just think it was a cigarette. A few coughs and a collapsed lung episode later, I finally got the hang of smoking. I don't remember how many cigarettes I had, but I do remember flying and there was a pink elephant. I vaguely remember finding a cab and being terrified that I would be a victim at the hands of the cab driver- he had a lone female buzzed out of her mind in the back of his taxi who had told him to just drive because I couldn't recall  the name of the place in which I was staying. I do remember asking him if he had a wife and daughter, I'm not kidding, I wanted him to think about them and not me. As soon as we passed one of those telephone booths I yelled at him to stop and after many failed attempts on my part of trying to figure out how to use the phone because I couldn't determine the proper coinage, I then drug him out of the front seat and demanded that he call the number on the slip of paper in my pocket. Thank god the family I was staying with had thought to give me their number since they knew I was going out by myself that night. After that, I made it safely to them and when they opened the door of the cab I face planted the road. Yeap, I just fell out of the cab- I don't remember this but that is what they told me the next day. That poor cab driver totally earned his fare that night. So my first experience with pot did not encourage any further usage of it. You'd think I would've never picked up another beer either, but no, and I can write a whole other blog on the stupid things I have done drunk- not proud by the way.
But why did I even decide to go out and try a "cigarette" in the first place? Clearly I loathed smoking, but I did it anyway. My judgement was already impaired due to the alcohol consumption, but what made me make the decision to continue drinking? I wish I had a good answer for it but I don't. People try/do stupid things all of the time. I still do stupid things. I mean, I smoked my second joint only a few months ago. Well, it wasn't a joint really, it was in a little bowl pipe thingy. I was told it might help my back pain so I tried it. This time I was in a much more controlled environment, and while I don't remember feeling my back pain, I don't see it as something I would like to partake of. I haven't tried the brownies though and I do love a good brownie. But the smoking left a nasty taste in my mouth and I felt like I had to literally scrape my tongue afterwards. Anyway, two pot experiences in a 14yr span seems to be a gracious plenty for me thus far. However, I am a proponent of legalizing medicinal marijuana and I wouldn't dismiss the thought of using it if it did enable me to live pain free. I already take enough narcotics to stay stoned and if I could eat a brownie over swallowing a bitter pill, then I'll take chocolate every time.
Personally I do not like being stoned out of my head all of the time. Maybe I'm too much of a control freak, maybe I don't like having my defenses down, or maybe I'd like to be able to speak without having to say um every ten seconds; but for whatever reason plenty of people find comfort in being strung out. But I don't blame or judge those who have become addicts. Just because I don't understand it, doesn't mean that I get to look down on those with this issue. Because although my experience with drugs was somewhat comical and ended up being harmless, I do not take for granted the fact that it could have went much differently. Had that cigarette been laced with anything, I could just as easily be dead or an addict myself.
Like with any drug, whether it be prescription or alcohol, there is an attachment of responsibility. I have seen drug abuse first hand. It has destroyed lives, crushed dreams, and has made people do unspeakable things, things that no family/person should have to endure. My heart goes out to those who have loved-ones dealing with addiction. You want to help the person, but it really does come down to whether the person wants to help themselves before anything can be done.
In May there is talk of a Bill reaching the North Carolina Senate to legalize medical marijuana. Between now and then I think I might just sign up for a class on horticulture after all. Or maybe a baking class...