New Year's resolutions- do you make them? Are they just promises that you make to yourself but in the end get broken? Like the first few days you're totally I got this, but then a month or two in and it's like uh I'll try again at this when Lent rolls around. So in the mean time you end up feeling all depressed and I'm a failure like because you didn't lose the weight, or quit smoking, or save money. And then the next resolution you'll have is to get off those anti-depressants.
Every year I say I'm finally going to get around to doing my grown-up stuff like updating my will- don't off me yet because 1) My other previous resolutions haven't happened so I don't have any cool stuff to leave anyone and 2) I haven't made my funeral arrangements- another grown-up thing I was supposed to get to. And then there are the other resolutions that I make like volunteer more- or just volunteer period, eat healthier- just because candy is strawberry flavored it does not count as fruit, and don't drink anymore or any less- actually I've accomplished that one so check mark that.
I'm not gonna lie, every time New Year's rolls around I use it as a time of reflection and think about what it is I would like to achieve.Three years ago I just wanted to be able to walk upright and although I may still need a cane/walker to assist me, at least I'm standing. This year I think I'm going to go for something a little less extreme like not always saying yes when they ask me if I want fries with that. Yeap, gonna fall back on the eat healthier one. 2014, the year of cardboard. Speaking of fries, I've been trying unsuccessfully for months to learn French so maybe I should stick with that and it can be 2014, the year of a la francaise. No, I totally just used google translate to write that. See, very unsuccessful. Anyway I still have 3 days to come up with something.
So whether your resolutions are short-term or long-term, at least you are thinking about setting goals for yourself. You are imagining the possibility that things can be different or even better for yourself and therein lies the hope that brings in the New Year. A recent post by UglyDucklingsInc.com pretty much sums it up though: "If you want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've never done."
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Give
The Christmas season is upon us and it seems that it's always at this time of year when people are most generous. I'd like to think that it's because people truly do want to think of others and that they're not just trying to get in those last minute tax deductions. One organization my partner and I have always contributed to is the Salvation Army. Every time we pass a red kettle we put our coinage in it and we always get the bell ringer some coffee/hot chocolate to keep warm. And every year we each grab a handful of names off of the Angel Tree and take care of the wishlists. I'm talking we go to the store and get the kids real presents like bikes, skate boards, dolls that god only knows what they do, and of course anything that makes lots of noise! It kills me when I see other people bring in things like socks and underwear-it really does happen. I'm like really? Just because these kids are poor, it doesn't mean they should receive anything less than what you would buy your own family. And if you're buying your family socks and underwear then insert eye-roll right here on my behalf.
But this year an article came across my screen in regards to this organization claiming that the SA had openly refused assistance to a gentleman and his partner due to their sexual orientation. The author stated that according to the SA, LGBT people are rejected because they are deemed sexually impure and would be denied assistance unless they renounced their sexuality and attended services. In addition there was a SA representative that stated he "wished death upon homosexuals." Later he re-worded his statement to say that he was referring to a "spiritual death." Yeah, I don't think it sounds any better the in his attempt at rephrasing... but at least I can take comfort being told that he no longer works for the SA.
So as a homo I was conflicted. Do I still contribute to this organization? My mom said that when I was a toddler it was mine & my brother's name on that Angel Tree (no wonder we always had plenty of socks!) and that the SA had helped us on several occasions. So should I give back to an organization that had clearly helped me as a child?
The SA has been documented in the past to undermine the equality movement of LGBT people: '86 New Zealand, '98 San Francisco, '01 Washington DC, '04 NYC, '12 Vermont. The SA is a faith-based organization and they do not believe in the homosexual lifestyle per their interpretation of biblical scripture. And I'm ok with that. If that is what they want to believe, then so be it. I mean there are people who believe in fairies and unicorns. And um Santa. Do I agree with their beliefs- no, but my concern was that while their mission statement says "to meet human needs in His name without discrimination" were they truly living up to that? If I were in need of assistance would I be turned away for being gay? I contacted the SA and spoke to Steve who represents our area. I informed him of my concern and his words were "I don't care if you are straight, gay, whatever. If you need assistance, we will help you."
And for me that's what it should be about. If someone is hungry, give them food. If someone is cold, give them warmth. If someone is without shelter, offer them a roof. A person's sexuality has no bearing as to whether they are in need.
I passed a red kettle today and I dropped my coins in and handed the bell ringer a cup of hot chocolate. I also walked up to a homeless man, handed him some cash and a sleeping bag. I think maybe the best thing to do is just to give. Give without stipulation, judgement, or prejudice. Just give what you can, even if it is underwear.
But this year an article came across my screen in regards to this organization claiming that the SA had openly refused assistance to a gentleman and his partner due to their sexual orientation. The author stated that according to the SA, LGBT people are rejected because they are deemed sexually impure and would be denied assistance unless they renounced their sexuality and attended services. In addition there was a SA representative that stated he "wished death upon homosexuals." Later he re-worded his statement to say that he was referring to a "spiritual death." Yeah, I don't think it sounds any better the in his attempt at rephrasing... but at least I can take comfort being told that he no longer works for the SA.
So as a homo I was conflicted. Do I still contribute to this organization? My mom said that when I was a toddler it was mine & my brother's name on that Angel Tree (no wonder we always had plenty of socks!) and that the SA had helped us on several occasions. So should I give back to an organization that had clearly helped me as a child?
The SA has been documented in the past to undermine the equality movement of LGBT people: '86 New Zealand, '98 San Francisco, '01 Washington DC, '04 NYC, '12 Vermont. The SA is a faith-based organization and they do not believe in the homosexual lifestyle per their interpretation of biblical scripture. And I'm ok with that. If that is what they want to believe, then so be it. I mean there are people who believe in fairies and unicorns. And um Santa. Do I agree with their beliefs- no, but my concern was that while their mission statement says "to meet human needs in His name without discrimination" were they truly living up to that? If I were in need of assistance would I be turned away for being gay? I contacted the SA and spoke to Steve who represents our area. I informed him of my concern and his words were "I don't care if you are straight, gay, whatever. If you need assistance, we will help you."
And for me that's what it should be about. If someone is hungry, give them food. If someone is cold, give them warmth. If someone is without shelter, offer them a roof. A person's sexuality has no bearing as to whether they are in need.
I passed a red kettle today and I dropped my coins in and handed the bell ringer a cup of hot chocolate. I also walked up to a homeless man, handed him some cash and a sleeping bag. I think maybe the best thing to do is just to give. Give without stipulation, judgement, or prejudice. Just give what you can, even if it is underwear.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
sir charlotte
"Hello Sir, Yes Sir, Can I help you Sir?" Yeap I get called Sir a lot. This week especially and so I decided why not write about it? I was even called "It" once by the nursing staff while having one of my numerous back procedures. That one I didn't understand because hello I was naked and if they couldn't tell that I had female anatomy, then maybe the nursing field shouldn't be in their line of work... I don't know maybe my name threw them since Charlotte is such a masculine sounding name?
But I am ok when people accidentally call me sir. I mean the look of mortification on people's faces when they realize their faux pas is really quite amusing. I always tell them No Worries, but there's just no going back from it. It's kinda like when you congratulate a woman on her pregnancy but she's not actually prego- let's just say awkward.
I'm somewhat of a small stature. I'm just under 5ft 5in and I weigh in around 118lbs- maybe more if I eat pizza, smell pizza, or just look at a pizza box. Note to enemies, Italian food is my downfall. My body is not curvy, voluptuous, or any of those sexy words that women use to describe themselves. I'm not blessed by any means up top and my butt is kinda small. So basically I'm built like a 16yr old boy. Excuse me while I beat off all of these admirers. Currently my hair is short, but even when I've grown it out people just assume I'm a dude with hippie hair.
I'm often asked why is it that I don't wear girls clothes. Yes, people think it's ok to just look at me and then say "why are you dressed like a boy?"And I of course tell them because it's totally their business.
In my younger days I mostly had girls clothes but I was fortunate to have an older brother so I could get away with swiping his shirts from time to time. But when I'd visit my mom's and she'd make me wear a dress to church it would devastate me. I was so uncomfortable and really I just looked like a little boy in a dress and if that doesn't make you popular in Sunday School nothing will. However for most of my youth I was able to dress in a mixture of both boys/girls clothing and if it got too boyish it could just be chalked up to me being a tomboy. However for one of my male cousins who wanted nothing more than to wear dresses, heels, and make-up, life was often cruel to him. He grew up to be almost 7ft tall, 300lbs, and makes his living as a professional drag queen. I don't think I'd be making fun of anyone in size 14 Prada heels.
In all honesty, I'm not sure that I can give a definitive answer that fits into a nice little box as to why I've always favored mens clothes. Some want to say it's because I'm gay, but then if you look at my partner she's all womens clothes and make-up. Mens clothing is definitely more comfortable, and just tends to fit my body correctly. I've never understood why we had to compartmentalize clothing to begin with. Why can't clothes just be called clothes? Just be glad that I wear clothes!
So I get called sir a lot, but if that's the worse thing I get called then I'll take it. And maybe the next time you see that guy carrying a purse or that woman wearing a tie you won't worry about why. You won't over analyze it or snicker at them. You won't call them It. You'll just think, well that's what makes them comfortable and at least they're not naked.
But I am ok when people accidentally call me sir. I mean the look of mortification on people's faces when they realize their faux pas is really quite amusing. I always tell them No Worries, but there's just no going back from it. It's kinda like when you congratulate a woman on her pregnancy but she's not actually prego- let's just say awkward.
I'm somewhat of a small stature. I'm just under 5ft 5in and I weigh in around 118lbs- maybe more if I eat pizza, smell pizza, or just look at a pizza box. Note to enemies, Italian food is my downfall. My body is not curvy, voluptuous, or any of those sexy words that women use to describe themselves. I'm not blessed by any means up top and my butt is kinda small. So basically I'm built like a 16yr old boy. Excuse me while I beat off all of these admirers. Currently my hair is short, but even when I've grown it out people just assume I'm a dude with hippie hair.
I'm often asked why is it that I don't wear girls clothes. Yes, people think it's ok to just look at me and then say "why are you dressed like a boy?"And I of course tell them because it's totally their business.
In my younger days I mostly had girls clothes but I was fortunate to have an older brother so I could get away with swiping his shirts from time to time. But when I'd visit my mom's and she'd make me wear a dress to church it would devastate me. I was so uncomfortable and really I just looked like a little boy in a dress and if that doesn't make you popular in Sunday School nothing will. However for most of my youth I was able to dress in a mixture of both boys/girls clothing and if it got too boyish it could just be chalked up to me being a tomboy. However for one of my male cousins who wanted nothing more than to wear dresses, heels, and make-up, life was often cruel to him. He grew up to be almost 7ft tall, 300lbs, and makes his living as a professional drag queen. I don't think I'd be making fun of anyone in size 14 Prada heels.
In all honesty, I'm not sure that I can give a definitive answer that fits into a nice little box as to why I've always favored mens clothes. Some want to say it's because I'm gay, but then if you look at my partner she's all womens clothes and make-up. Mens clothing is definitely more comfortable, and just tends to fit my body correctly. I've never understood why we had to compartmentalize clothing to begin with. Why can't clothes just be called clothes? Just be glad that I wear clothes!
So I get called sir a lot, but if that's the worse thing I get called then I'll take it. And maybe the next time you see that guy carrying a purse or that woman wearing a tie you won't worry about why. You won't over analyze it or snicker at them. You won't call them It. You'll just think, well that's what makes them comfortable and at least they're not naked.
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