choosing life is hard

September 8th kicked off National Suicide Prevention Week and World Suicide Prevention Day is September 10th. Being mentally, physically, and sexually abused on a daily basis up until I was 18yrs old, there were plenty of times when I thought suicide was my only option. If I could just make it all stop then I'd never have to deal with any of it ever again. God how I hated hearing that last school bell ring because I knew what I was going home to.
Suicide had it's appeal, but somewhere inside of me I wasn't going to let what was happening to me win. My body may have been abused, but I would not allow my soul to be taken as well. Choosing to live really is the hard way. Now that I'm older and no longer in that situation there are still triggers, nightmares, bouts of self worthlessness. However there is also laughter, love, and friendships.
I've recently spoken with a youth who has also questioned her ability to go on due to the bullying she receives. She often "self-harms" or cuts herself as her coping mechanism and while I told her that I am by no means a professional, I could tell her that she has worth, that who knows who she will grow up to be, whose lives will she touch in the future? One of my mantras is "Life will not always be this way."I had to tell myself that growing up, and even now there are some days when those words are enlightening.
So this week I encourage everyone to get involved with helping for Suicide Prevention Week. One of my favorite organizations is The Trevor Project www.thetrevorproject.org that deals predominately with LGBT youth. There's also the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention www.afsp.org who helps with understanding/coping and preventing suicide.
And because there are so many out there like me who would have never contacted an organization, just be nice to those around you. Give of yourself, show kindness, and truly love one another.